brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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