is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
