I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
