You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize