He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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