I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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