And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
