yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
