she smelled like a LAN party
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
