haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize