is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize