sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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