if you like me you must not know who I am
People in love make me want to vomit
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
