Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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