operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
