Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
