Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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