I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
