I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
