I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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