i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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