there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize