he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize