4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
