I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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