And the cops told us we were all naked.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
