Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
