Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
