I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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