I look better un-naked...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
