Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
