thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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