remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
