dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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