can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize