if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Blood and glitter go together right?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize