I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
