real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
