I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
