I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Say something about gay babies.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
