What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
