i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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