I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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