I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
