escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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