Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
