You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
