Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
