If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
