people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
