waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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