She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize