Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
