oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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