"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize