Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
