why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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