I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Never joke about your clitoris.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
