I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize