My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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