walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
