This is not my ceiling
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
