sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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