This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
