Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize